Engagement Ring Selfies Freezing You With Fear?

Engagement ring selfies, like selfies themsel…fies, have become a fixture in this brave new world. There’s just no way around it. Don’t post a pic of your gorgeous new ring within 5 minutes after saying yes and you’re labeled a weirdo, right? WRONG.

We have to draw the line somewhere, and when The Telegraph announces that young men are too afraid to buy an engagement ring under the looming pressure of an engagement ring selfie on Facebook, we’re whipping out our big red pen.

According to The Telegraph, “Only half of men now propose to their girlfriends with a ring as increased pressure to announce their engagement with a Facebook selfie is making them “terrified” of getting it wrong, according to jewellers.”

You guys. We understand engagement ring information overload. We understand there are times when she just isn’t as in love with the ring as she is with you. You know we are ALL about a great engagement ring selfie. But if performance anxiety on social media is preventing you from surprising the love of your life with a ring? We need to talk.

First of all, odds are good that thanks to Facebook’s algorithm 99% of your friends won’t even see the announcement in their feed full of engagement ring selfies! All jokes aside though, your FB & Insta announcement doesn’t necessarily need to include a ring selfie. Why not a picture of the two of you smiling, blissfully ecstatic about starting your new life together? The pressure to have an over the top proposal, thanks to all those viral video proposals and flash mobs, since morphing into entire websites devoted to amazeballs proposal stories, is too much. Forget about it for just one minute, and picture what matters: your partner saying yes to spending the rest of your lives together.

Whatever ring you choose to propose with, if a surprise is what you’re after, will be perfect. Especially considering most of our ring shoppers have done at least some research into what their partner prefers in an engagement ring. And if you’re worried your partner might be clueless, you can always drop a few of our favorite hints.

Still, there are some good reasons why you want to shop for a ring as a couple. Which by the way, we think is a great idea. None of those include anything to do with impressing your online friends and “friends” with just the right filter + angle.

The article also includes testimony from jewelers sharing their experiences with more young couples shopping together, many after the proposal’s already gone down. We absolutely see our fair share of this, but we tend to attribute it to a more equal share of balance and financial responsibility in modern couples.

Today’s bride wants more say in her ring than ever before. Maybe her Mom’s lukewarm love for her original engagement ring (and her ensuing OBSESSION over her upgrade ring) served as a warning to her. Maybe she’s spent too much of her valuable time researching exactly what she wants on Pinterest to let that all fall by the wayside. Maybe she fell in love with her partner for qualities other than their ability to distinguish between halo vs. non-halo rings. Or round diamonds vs. cushion cuts for that matter.

Maybe they’re splitting the cost of the ring. Maybe they already share their life together, a child (or two), a mortgage, or even a vacation fund. A huge financial investment of any other type would never be left to just one half of the couple’s sole discretion, so why should an engagement ring purchase?

These are the more frequent reasons we see for non-traditional ring shopping. But trust, we still see a ton of grooms shopping solo, palms sweaty, Pinterest print outs in hand, just trying to figure out what a split shank means. That’s where we come in.

If you’re doing things the old fashioned way, shopping for a surprise ring that you think she’ll love, keep a few things in mind:

• You know her better than anyone, right? You’d think after falling madly in love with her you’d be able to at least buy something close to what her tastes and styles are. You buy her holiday and birthday gifts, “just because” little things, things that remind her of you when you see them – an engagement ring is the same, just on a larger scale.
• Your jeweler is there to help. Even if you haven’t stalked her Instagram & Tumblr to see if she’s liked or followed any designer engagement rings lately, we know what women want. We know what questions to ask you to suss out a few great options for your girl.
• If you think there’s nothing out there that will perfectly suit her, go custom! We can help you craft the perfect ring just for her.
• If budget is your concern, we have financing options, alternative gemstone options, and great ways to maximize your budget.
• If you really want to surprise her, but REALLY don’t feel confident you can get a ring that’s exactly what she wants, we’re happy to start with a beautiful solitaire, set with the perfect diamond for your budget, then have her come in and create or choose just the right setting for her.

Don’t let fear paralyze you from getting down on one knee as a big surprise, if that’s what you want! Modern brides are different from any generation before them, but social media performance should never compromise the romance of a proposal. We’re here to make sure it’s everything you’ve both dreamed of, with only the usual amount of nerves and anxiety.