Normally it’s next to impossible for us to narrow our list to to a top 10 best dressed jewelry list. But after last night’s awards? We have no problem capping it off with the top 5 looks from the Emmys. The red carpet should have given us clues as to how quickly the show itself would go down hill; what felt like a weird, disjointed funeral spastically interrupted by ridiculous dance numbers was, as Modern Family’s umpteenth acceptance speech pointed out “the saddest Emmys ever.” And the most boring (hint, a song about how unnecessarily long the show is goes past even irony). And the show wasn’t the only boring part, the red carpet was sufficiently drowse inducing too. When the host of the pre show has more exciting jewelry thant he stars, you know it’s bad. The Emmys can usually be counted on to bring the fun – it’s the first award show of the season, get crazy and wear some amethysts if you want. You’ve got like 3 more opportunities to wear diamonds. But the stars didn’t even give us that, opting for everyday bangle and ring stacks with the occasional large cocktail ring thrown in (thank you, Alison Williams and Zoey Deschanel, your baubles made you annoy us less last night.) Thank G-d for Sofia, but we’ll get to her later. There were, thankfully, shining moments of sparkle peppered in with every bland pair of big studs and every non-mention of non-statement jewelry. These ladies get a large round of applause from us, and it’s extra loud because we doubled up on bracelets to compensate for the lack of them at the Emmys. Let’s go.
5. Connie Britton
Connie’s hair always makes us sad that there aren’t diamonds in it. We’ve tweeted it before and we will again, it deserves its own borrowed jewelry. She accessorized her 21st century Scarlett O’Hara drapery dress with trendy bold high karat gold bangles by Cathy Waterman. They picked up on all the baroque-ery going on with Connie’s look (and the FW couture collections) and were every carat deserving of the “Mahjore” stamp they received from Giuliana Rancic.
4. Anna Gunn
Anna Gunn, Best Actress, is now officially (as Lainey Gossip noted) more deserving than her Ramona Keveza gown. Not to say that RK doesn’t make gorgeous frocks, but she’s ready for Louis, Lanvin, Dior. You know who wears Keveza? Cobie Smulders. You know who Cobie likely won’t wear after her massive PR faux pas last night? Irene Neuwirth. Gunn rocked her beautiful opal earrings, and Irene’s work is once again one of the most applause-worthy pieces on the carpet.
3. Sofia Vergara
Sofia! The joy of every jewelry-hound’s existence showed up in some 160 carats of gems (rubies, sapphires and – of course – emeralds) last night repping hard for her long-time love Lorraine Schwartz. Sofia placed third not because the jewels weren’t amazing (duh), but because this is her jewelry uniform. Sofia walks nary a red carpet without B.A. earrings and at least one huge gemstone cocktail ring. She looked incredible, as always.
2. Maria Menounos
Another one of Lorraine’s girls (and another in her exquisite emerald work), the hostess took everyone’s breath away with an amazing emerald and diamond necklace befitting a Maharani. Coordinating emerald studs (we’ll allow it) worked wonderfully with her Pinterest-inspired fishtail braid.
1. Padma Lakshmi
Padma’s look might not be the sparkliest, but it’s the best. Why? Not only is it the first look that made us sit up in our seat, but it’s truly original. THe gorgeous earrings and molten gold sculptural cuff are by Robert Lee Morris, and we love how perfectly on-trend they are while stepping outside the red carpet box. Sometimes all it takes is high quality, high karat gold, an ethereally perfect knack for asymmetry, and a stunning Top Chef hostess to become the biggest hit on the red carpet without a single stone in sight. Everyone else, you may pack your knives and go.
Honorable mentions: Carrie’s diamonds (both her red carpet necklace and her performance earrings by Jonathan Arndt), Anna Faris (we think that was her, hard to tell because her hair/makeup team clearly has major beef with her) and her surprise lizard, Jane Krakowski’s awesome earrings by Wendy Yue.