I Do: Wedding Sit Down Dinner

No wedding is created equally. Brides all over the world have their idea of the perfect day. While many traditions remain the same throughout the ages, like the virginal white dress, the traditional ceremony followed by a reception for the friends and family, and a large wedding cake—in which you save the top tier in the freezer until the couple’s first wedding anniversary—some traditions fluctuate from wedding to wedding.

In this week’s I Do/I Don’t wedding series I take the standpoint in that I DO think you should serve a plated dinner to your guests.

While it is the pricier route for wedding reception dining options, I feel that there are many benefits to having guests enjoy a plated dinner at your wedding reception.

Let me refer back to a gorgeous May wedding in the Florida Keys that I attended just this past summer….

After a beautiful late-afternoon wedding ceremony held on the jetty of a local resort, overlooking a marina and the Atlantic Ocean, while guests young and old enjoyed a bit of unwanted sunburn, guests were treated to a delightful cocktail hour, followed by a buffet style meal that included offerings like filet mignon, giant Key West prawns and adorable mashed potato martinis, among other offerings. While the idea was elegant, it was a mad house to manage 150+ attendees on one 40-ish foot buffet table. Within minutes of presenting the food, the buffet was overcome with flies (par for the course during an outdoor wedding in May), and the pricey filet mignon was overcooked by the sterno flames underneath the chafing dishes. Having been a waitress in my past life I had no problem balancing a dinner dish alongside a stemmed martini glass full of mashed potatoes as I perused down the buffet line, but some guests—especially my grandma—had a hard time balancing their walkers with their dishes.

While this is just one example, the buffet option creates problems during a lot of wedding receptions. You need venue space for the buffet table and you still need a staff to help serve the food and break apart the table once the meal is over.

You’d hate to hear comments down the grapevine later regarding how beautiful the wedding was, except for the meal you offered.

While I believe that if you’re planning a cocktail hour, light appetizers and hors d’oeuvres should be passed, guests appreciate a meal, as well. After all, if your reception is lengthy, at least 3 hours or longer, your guests will get hungry shaking their tail feathers on the dance floor.

Plated meals take the guesswork out of the situation. You provide the meal options with the wedding invitation, normally printed right on the RSVP card that guests send back.

While steak is an elegant option for a wedding, it’s not practical in that every guest will want their steak cooked to a different temperature. Stick to options like chicken, pasta or ravioli, fish or lamb that you can offer, through your caterer of course, with one preparation style for each dish. You’re not required to offer anything more than 2-3 options unless you hang out with an equal amount of Vegans, Carnivores and Orthodox Jews.

While there will need to be a wait staff in place for the event, one banquet server can usually care for the needs of at least 20 guests at once, which will be important to consider when booking staff for your wedding reception.

Normally, if hors d’oeuvres have been provided, 2-3 courses would be appropriate for a plated meal. Start with a salad that encompasses the season. I once had an Arugula and Pumpkin salad to kick off the dinner at a fall wedding that was exquisite, while you could serve a Waldorf Salad before a summer wedding.

When planning with your caterer, the plated dining option incurs much less waste than a buffet, too. You could have a dozen or so dishes extra, incase there are unexpected guests, but perhaps of the least expensive option you’re serving, or the most versatile. If you had extra pasta dishes for guests that didn’t provide an option on their RSVP, or they surprised you and showed up with no RSVP, it’d be ok. Who doesn’t like pasta?

Guests much prefer being fed a meal versus lots of little appetizer options, too! While appetizers and hors d’oeuvres are the most delicious foods on the face of the earth, in my opinion, they’re tremendously fattening. Mini Beef Wellington or Brie En Croute often contain upwards of 150 calories each—for like, 1 bite. Godiva Truffles don’t even pack that much punch.

While your budget is, overall, the deciding factor, if you can afford it—offer a sit-down, plated dinner at your wedding reception. The extra attention to detail will give your family and friends that much more to talk about for years after!