Top 3 Suspects for the Winning Bidder of Kim K's Ring

By now, it’s common knowledge that Kris Humphries auctioned off ex wife Kim Kardashian’s engagement ring via Christie’s yesterday. Any gossip lover with halfway decent vision and memory could tell that lot 194 was the Lorraine Schwartz sparkler papped on the finger of Ms. Kardashian. The ring made it’s debut on scene “Proposal” take 17 of Keeping Up with the Kardashians Season 6 Episode 13. After Kris finally got his scripted proposal right, Kim accepted the ring “he” “bought” “for her.” The ring, a stunning three stone emerald cut designed by Hollywood jewelry queen Lorraine Schwartz, was rumored to have cost $2 million.

We’d have believed it, given the lovely appearance of the ring and its reported 20 carat weight. Alas, not everything is as it seems with the K family (obviously), and 20 carats turned out to be a 16.21 carat center stone with accent diamonds. Still nothing to scoff at, the huge diamond’s other specs are what prove that this ring is worth no where near $2 million. The VS1 clarity is very, very good, as is the I color grade – but neither are the tippy top best. And the diamonds weren’t even GIA certified until August of this year when Christie’s sent them off before they hit the auction block. The ring, based on the diamonds alone, would likely cost about $400,000, placing it firmly within Christie’s estimated sale price of $300k – $500k. Once the ring was all but confirmed to be Kim’s last week, auction experts were amazingly snooty about its fair estimate, insisting that Kim’s notoriety wouldn’t have the Liz Taylor effect on her jewelry. Why?

“Taylor had worldwide, decades-long fame,” longtime auction expert Ettagale Blauer tells JCK. “Kardashian is more of the Warhol 15-minute variety. The ring is by Lorraine Schwartz, so there’s the ‘red carpet’ factor.”

Hilarious snootiness aside, the ring was fairly priced. And there’s no way that Kris bought it for $2 million anyways, for two reasons. 1) Kim bought the ring (we believe the rumors) and let him propose with it. Why else would she have fought so hard to keep it in divorce proceedings? She could easily just buy herself another one. 2) It was never worth that much. Kim likely bought it for far less than retail, given the publicity it would receive, then gave it to Kris, who sold it for more than it was ever worth (hammer price was $749,000 including Christie’s fees). At the end of the day, everyone but Kim is a winner: Kris sold the ring at a profit (donating some back to charity, allegedly), Christie’s had more eyes on their auction and ended up making $46 million off of it, Lorraine is getting more attention (as she should, she’s a genius), and the mysterious winner gets this gorgeous ring. But who is the mysterious bidder? We’ll never know, but we have our suspicions:

3. Beyonce: Queen Bey is not friends with Kim K, no matter how hard Kim tries. It just doesn’t fit with our schema of Bey, so it cannot Bey. Wouldn’t it make such a statement if Beyonce bought the ring for something like Blue Ivy’s equivalent of macaroni art (she strings precious gems instead of pasta)? Or a toe ring or something? Thus firmly cementing her rule as the entertainment industry’s Baby Queen, also ensuring North West doesn’t get too many ideas.

2. Kim Jong Un: He’s into basketball players. He could spin it so that Dennis Rodman proposed to him and they could plan a multimillion dollar wedding spectacle to show off to the rest of the world how great everything is going in North Korea all the time. He’s the real Kim that matters.

1. Kanye: Let’s be real, it would be so Kanyesque for him to buy the diamond for Kim so that no random is waltzing around with her diamond (or building a shrine with it, whatever). He might drop it into the ocean all Titanic-like. He might replace his front tooth with it (we’re keeping an eye out). Most likely? He’ll write a song about it, use it in the music video, start a Twitter feud with Lorraine, Kris, Christie’s and Sotheby’s (just because) before replacing his front tooth with it then deciding he’s too avant garde and dropping it in the ocean.